


Instagram

by Panicattheprinxiety



Series: Instagram, [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 05:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17380358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panicattheprinxiety/pseuds/Panicattheprinxiety
Summary: It's a big sad. 99% sure people don't like me because of it. Lots of unrequited love in here. Whoops.





	Instagram

It started with one. And oh boy did it spiral.

He hadn't even been looking up anything specific. The dude's photo just... appeared on his Instagram dash. But there was something about his photo that just...made Virgil's breath hitch. He hadn't ever seen someone so cute. Clicking on the profile to try to see if it really was the dudes account he discovered it was, and he had tons of selfies. He was adorable in every one of them. 

Some post made him laugh, others he stared in awe of how similar they were. He finally went back to look at his bio, noticing they lived near each other..that made his heart flutter. His page reloaded, showing a picture of an acceptance letter to a community college Virgil had got accepted to himself. At that moment a slight kick happened in his chest. No no, getting too ahead of myself. I can't just fall in love with a picture.

He read the name at the top of the letter, oh boy his name even sounds adorable. Patton.

He blurred out his last name for security reasons, but God did just his first name sound as adorable as he did. Photos of himself and some cute dogs were his background, where his profile picture was so... interesting to Virgil.

But..all things don't end well. Especially in the case of love. After he had liked a relatable post by Patton, he got a private message. Panicking for a second he could see it was a harmless message.

"Hi! Your account is really cool!"

He blushed slightly at his words. Holy crap, this was happening. The cute boy he had things in common with messaged him. He messaged Virgil!

"Thanks, yours is cool."

From that point on they became mutuals. Liking, reblogging, FOLLOWING. Everything they found funny they sent to the other, and he finally felt..loved. Appreciated. Finally, someone brought up the fact college was starting soon, making it revealed to Patton that they were going to the same school. Maybe we could.. actually be together. We've known each other for a while and we live near each other so maybe-

He heard his phone going off again. It was a message from Pat. He always loved those messages. Slowly, oh so slowly, he had fallen more in love after the last few months. Before he could think of something positive to say in his head his smile fell as he read the message.

"Sorry, I was on a date with my boyfriend."

He read it over and over. Of course, it was only an online friendship. Well, only to Pat. He didn't know the other had liked him for a while. And it was only confirmed that he wasn't going to know. 

Shake it off. If he knows he wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. Even if I can't have him in a romantic sense doesn't mean he isn't my best friend. Well..if I'm his.

That's when the second text came through. Oh, boy did that hurt almost as much as learning about Patton already having a relationship.

"You should see my best friends account! He's really nice!"

Guess we weren't best friends...

He kind of..beat himself up for that. He wasn't good enough to even be a best friend, even after all they've experienced together. Sleepless nights, panic attacks, and just bad days in general.

He followed the person Patton told him to, only to look at his pictures. Oh, boy did Virgil's mind go into turmoil. He's cuter than Patton..he's so handsome.

He looked at the clean-cut man on the screen. Only a few minutes later did he get an alert. The new handsome dude followed him back! Maybe this one will work out differently.

Only...it didn't.

They started talking (not because of Patton saying they should at ALL) and they started to become friends. Day after day, slowly he fell in love with Patton's best friend. It was the day before he would have the courage to ask Logan out. Then, as if it was prophesied a new message came through.

"People will no leave me alone about wanting a relationship and do not understand what the term 'Aromantic' is."

Well, that....hurt. A lot. But at least he hadn't been rejected outright. But there is no way Virgil would tell him now. Get low-key rejected then fully? Nope, no way. Plus, he wasn't about to make his.. friend uncomfortable. It was his romantic orientation. Not a choice, especially not a choice he could change.

He looked away from the message sadly. He should have learned his lesson, don't fall in love with people you can't have. But like almost all the people he didn't want to think about it. Would anyone really want to think they can't find someone who loves them? But then something..happened.

Another follows.

This time he looked at the account who followed him. No way... no way it could be...

It was his first ever crush from high school. He didn't think. He couldn't. Oh God did Virgil remember every reason he liked him. Roman was the most romantic guy in the whole school. It was hard not to Love him. Especially with him having qualities anyone would swoon for. Handsome, creative, talented. Oh, Right now and back then Virgil could list of hundreds of perfect things about him. All the little quirks and perfect imperfections. They even hung out a few times, just them. Sure, Virgil could barely speak from being so struck by his attractiveness. But he couldn't say anything to Roman, he was so... indescribable. 

But there were a few times he'd like to not be a part of. For one, when Roman would gush about his latest crush. Much to Virgil's dismay, he was Absolute, 100% straight. But it's not like he could hold that against Roman. It's the same reason he knew he shouldn't be upset about Logan. It wasn't a choice. 

But God did he cry when Roman left. 

Virgil wanted to give him his heart. But every time is thought maybe he had even the slightest chance Roman would always mention a new girl he loved. It wasn't...fair. 

He tried to make himself good enough. But unless he gets a gender change, which he didn't want, he had no chance of ever dating Roman. He'd pour his heart out if meant that he'd even have a 10% chance of taking him out on a date. He even thought about how he wanted the dates to go on with him. They all started out with them going to the park, having a nice walk. He wanted romance, love. Genuine love. But back then he wouldn't be able to get it. Soon enough it was three days until the end of their freshman year. The last three days this school year he could have to confess he Desperately wanted Roman. That's all he thought about, wanting someone just to hold him close, letting him know he was loved. But...

The day Virgil found out Roman wasn't really 100% straight kind of...broke him. Walking down the hall, obviously, daydreaming he heard a noise from around the corner.

He peaked around the corner only to see his crush and worst enemy... making out against the lockers. No no no no. This couldn't...it shouldn't...but it was.

Virgil blinked rapidly Then sank back. But...Romans straight? This couldn't be right.

He got a text later. He made a special notification when Roman texted him. He wanted to be able to respond quickly.

"Hey, I have something to tell you."

"Go ahead."

He had his eyes closed, begging, pleading in his head for Roman to like him. Please, please, I just want you to love me. Please. I'm in love with you.

But like all other messages, he opened his eyes only to have to whip away the tears. 

"So I'm like, bi and I was afraid to tell you because I thought you'd think I like you but trust me, you're my Platonic best friend."

His shoulders fell, tears dripped down his face. Heart shattered and broken into pieces he has sworn not to fall in love with anyone until he was out of high school. He kept that promise. Only for This to happen. Roman following him. Huh. This was new.

He got another notification. It wasn't a special one, just the normal one for defaults on his phone. Another message, this one is sure to have a heartbreaking end. But that didn't stop his heart from beating faster or his head to run thoughts about how they could be together.

Maybe it the feeling was finally after such an agonizing time returned things would be okay. He'd have someone he knew was a good guy, or at least he was in sophomore year.

"Hi! Is the Virgil from my high school?"

"Yeah, hey Roman."

They talked for hours. He finally felt...nice. No one around to see Virgil's face blush with every message, or he squeaks when he found out something new about Roman again. It was all so new, fresh and hopefully a restart since the day he was rejected. Things started to look up from here.

Some nights he stayed up past midnight just to have maybe a five-minute talk but it was so, so worth it. He was finally getting his adrenaline rushes again, he couldn't be happier! Well, unless he could be with Roman but that was asking too much right now and we all know where that's gotten him in the past. Take things slow and you won't get heartbroken, that was his plan right now.

But he knew all too familiar the result of not asking as all. He didn't even have to ask to be rejected, they just came out and said that they didn't like him like that in one way or another.

It had been months since he got the first message and now..now he's do anything to see the man on the other side of the screen. He didn't even want to push for a relationship right now, he just wanted to be around him. Not to mention the other may be slowly...very slowly...falling in love.

But...

"Hey V! I wanted to tell you something! I'm super excited!"

"What's up?" 

Thoughts similar to the ones he had the day he had learned that Roman was bi, not putting a lot of thought into the other thing. Please. Please, I'm in love with you all over again.

"My boyfriend proposed to me! We're getting married on December 19th!"

That took...a few minutes to register. It...hurt. It hurt a lot more than the first time. Not only the fact they were getting married, but they were getting married on Virgil's birthday. The man he was in love with was getting married on his birthday. It was a little under five months away, and normally he looked forward to his birthday, being able to go out to a fancy restaurant even if it was by himself. But now he was dreading it. He started to type "that's my birthday" but stopped. He'd mess something up. He'd mess up their wedding because it was his birthday and they didn't deserve that. They deserved happiness in their marriage and love until they wanted to part, and even if it wasn't him who was getting married. 

"That's great!"

"And I talked to him and he said we'll make an invitation for you."

"Sure it's not like I have anything to do that day."

He wasn't lying, almost no friend he had remembers his birthday. If he wanted anyone apart from his parents to tell him happy birthday he'd have to post something about it. He hasn't had any type of birthday party since he was 10. At that point, his mom and dad stopped caring.

Tears dripped down his face and onto the screen of his phone. He remembered the little lullaby that always reminded him of Roman, it is you are my sunshine. It was not far from the truth, for a long time he had been a source of sunshine in the others life, making him feel happy even if he was having a terrible day. He was his sunshine. 

With him, Virgil could see every color and love it. But when he had been rejected for the first time his reds dulled. It no longer represented love, it now meant hate. Not hate towards others, and especially not Roman, but hate towards himself. It was pure hate towards his heart for falling in love with someone he couldn't have. 

This time all the bright colors went away. The yellows, oranges, and pinks disappeared around him. They all looked...dull again. 

When Patton let him know about his relationship status all the blues in the world fell into a grayish color. Instead of a baby blue shirt in the cute man's Pictures, it was gray and miserable.

When Logan let him know about his romantic orientation all the cool colors got lost into the endless shades of Gray and black. Darker blues, greens and all types of purple didn't show up any more. 

Colors were leaving him. His heartfelt unfixable, ruined. But he could only blame himself, he should have never fallen for any of them. 

The months came and went with many conversations between the three men and himself. It wasn't until the day he RSVPed to the wedding things truly set in. You have to go. It's for Roman and it might make you realize that you can't find love. Maybe he'll have a twin that's exactly like him in every way you can trick yourself into believing is the real Roman.

He got up with his alarm on his birthday. Well, he got out of bed, he hadn't slept in days. Looking at himself in the mirror he saw how much he wanted to cry. Today he was going to watch his sunshine walk down the aisle to someone who probably didn't.....who completely deserves to be happy. He couldn't even finish his original thought because it was just so...selfish. selfish in a way where he was jealous but trying to cover it up. Everyone else has found love. Why the fuck can't you do it?

He heard the wedding song play. Once the only person to come in would be Roman he...almost couldn't bear to look at the walkway. 

You are my sunshine,

Once he was at the altar and tears almost clouded his vision. He saw all the curves and the structure he was still swooning over. He is the most beautiful thing on this Earth.

My only sunshine,

Colors faded away. They went from dulled down to completely gone. He blinked the droplets away, hoping he could be okay with this. He was never yours to lose.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

They were getting ready to exchange vows. He even helped find some things for Roman to say over text. But he hadn't felt at the time. He just went numb. 

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

He saw them move closer to one another. They smiled at each other with all the love in the world. He closed his eyes tight. All he could hear is soft voices. 

"I do."

Please

Don't 

Take

My

Sunshine

Away.

"I do."


End file.
